His!

I have recently started a new morning devotional time. It includes reading through the bible and then following it up with Oswald Chambers' My Utmost for His Highest. The writings are like a million years old, but still so amazingly sharp and relevant. They are so old, in fact, the version I have is updated to use more modern English.

Today's reading spoke of the difference between loving Christ and being his disciple. I guess I always thought the two had to be synonymous. But there are many people, me included for a majority of my life, that love Jesus, but remain their own. They make their own decisions, work to please themselves, and give glory to themselves. Some people live to please other people - parents, friends, a spouse, children.

The bottom line that Oswald was making is that we cannot be considered "His" is we also belong to someone else. It reminds me of my new friend Paul I spoke about last night.

Following God's call, he left his wife and two children in Kenya. When asked how often he will return home to see them he says, "my program is 2 years. I will return home in 2 years." When people comment about the sacrifice or craziness of it, he simply replies that when we are Christ's we must follow him.

We live in a society where responsibility and hard work is everything. We cannot fathom leaving behind our family for 2 years for any reason (except maybe military service, but even deployments are typically shorter than 2 years).

Moving to Kentucky to go back to school has been a combination of me and God. I knew this move was essential for my spiritual growth (and it has already been very fruitful in that regard), but there always comes a justification for me. "I can do this crazy thing because...." and I have never finished the sentence with "...because God has told me to."

My bible reading today was about Noah. He spent almost 100 years building a boat in the desert. And then, once it was done, they climbed inside and waited 7 days for the rain to begin. 7 days! I'm reminded of the movie "RV." Could you imagine being locked in a confined space for 7 days because one member of your family thought something was going to happen?!?

How do we, in our culture, separate ourselves as His disciples? What is he calling us to do that we haven't done? But more specifically, what is he asking me to do? Am I willing to lay down everything for that? My family? My dreams? My comfort? My status? What it really comes down to is "do I trust God with my everything?"