Love has always been an awkward thing for me, to be honest. Conceptually, it's great. What I struggle with is the whole accepting it thing. Maybe it came from the death of my parents at a young age; or maybe it's just human nature. I really don't know.
But what I do know is that I have heard my whole life that "Jesus Loves Me," most kids raised in the church have - but what did it ever mean to me. Conceptually, it was great! But instead of really accepting it, I have always continued to lean on my own strength - there is less trust and risk involved that way.
A couple weeks ago, Garrett and I decided that we would call Quest Community Church in Lexington our home church. We liked Quest because the people & the preaching was real. It acknowledged the radical step it is to not just become a follower of Christ, but then to radically follow him wholeheartedly (a jump much scarier than salvation).
Almost 3 weeks ago I made that leap. I didn't know what I was in for or what "wholeheartedness" looked like, but I knew the only way to find out was to leap.
Tonight I made another leap - acknowledging that I had never really "experienced" Christ. Oh, I've said the sinner's prayer at least a dozen times (typically out of fear of going to hell), but I've never just let his love penetrate every part of me. And to be honest, I'm not sure I've yet had a real Jesus "experience," but He has given me a heart to not stop pursuing Him until I have.
Just like 3 weeks ago, I really don't know what lays ahead. But life without Christ's love just doesn't seem all that spectacular anymore. Thank you Jesus for not only starting a good work in me, but also being faithful to carry it out until completion!
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